We all stare at the little old lady in the supermarket who walks around talking out loud to herself. Or at the homeless man who mutters continually under his breath as he stands on the street corner. And while talking to ourselves out loud isn’t generally accepted as “normal” behaviour, we all talk silently to ourselves – all the time. This inner dialogue dominates our minds during every waking hour.
But just what is an inner dialogue? Essentially, it’s the conversation our ego has with itself. It’s that little voice in our heads that helps us understand our responses to the people and situations we come into contact with every day.
This self-talk can be negative or positive and has a direct influence on our mood and behaviour. When our inner dialogue is dark and dismal, we filter our lives so that negative thoughts and actions dominate. When the dialogue is positive, we feel happy and optimistic.
Although we all talk to ourselves internally, some of us do it more often and intensely than others. Studies in Europe show that the more active your inner speech processes are, the more intrusive your thoughts will be. MRI scans showed that people who habitually experience intrusive thoughts actually use the language areas of their brains while these thoughts occur, meaning the negative dialogue they have with themselves is as real to them as an “out loud” conversation with another person.
The tendency of negative thoughts to dominate is actually an evolutionary hangover from our ancient ancestors, whose negativity bias meant they would shut out thoughts on the beauty of a sunset in favour of looking out for any signs that their lives were in imminent danger. The pleasure of a good meal always played second fiddle to the more pressing needs of shelter and safety.
Negative energy is contagious, and while we can’t always avoid it completely, we can refocus our attention on overcoming the inherently negative tendencies of our brains and being positive instead. This can have a hugely influential effect on our inner dialogue.
Here are a few things you can try to change your self-talk into a more positive and happy language:
Meditate
We typically have up to 80 000 thoughts every day. Learning how to quieten this turbulent state of mind creates an environment in which positive internal conversation can be heard.
Be Grateful
Focusing our attention on those things we are, or should be, grateful for automatically creates a more positive mental environment. Try saying “I am so grateful for……….” at least once every day.
Acknowledge The Power Of Affirmations
Affirmations are strong, positive self-talk statements that can help to focus your inner dialogue onto new, inspiring thoughts and ideas. Practised regularly, they help banish the old mental commentary and help foster a healthier thought environment.