Ancient man didn’t have much time for self control. He lived an instinctive life, relying on his wits and snappy, fight-or-flight responses to keep him alive, fed and out of trouble. If he was angry, he picked a fight, if he saw something good to eat, he ate it. Thinking about the wisdom of his actions, or practising techniques to manage aggression and anger were not concepts to which he was ever exposed.
As modern man, we take a slightly different approach to life, partly due to not having to fend off savage beasts on a regular basis, and partly because we have a large prefrontal cortex, something our ancestors lacked. It is in this part of the brain that decision-making happens, tempered by impulse-control and willpower. In other words, it is our self-control command centre.
What is Self-Control?
Self control is essentially our ability to suppress our immediate impulses so that we achieve longer-term goals. It’s the use of reason to control our instincts, and it’s a trait worth having – even in today’s age of instant gratification.
Self-control helps us evaluate alternate actions, plan, and, often, avoid doing things we’ll later regret. Often referred to as willpower, it’s what helps us focus our attention so we can achieve and be successful.
Self-Control vs Addiction
It must be stressed that addiction can in no way be classed as “poor self-control.” Addiction to substances such as drugs or alcohol, and also to food, are widely agreed to be chemical in nature, and addicts need advice, help, clinical support and, very often, medication. This is also true for those with excessive, or obsessive, desires that are unusual, socially unacceptable, or illegal, such as exhibitionism, paedophilia or necrophilia.
When Do We Need Self-Control?
We need to exercise our self-control in any situation where we feel an overwhelming desire to do something that is pleasurable, but that we know isn’t good for us. Such situations could include eating sugary, sweet foods when we’re diabetic, or fatty foods when we’re trying to lose weight. Compulsive shopping and impulse buying also fall into this category.
We also need self-control in situations where our actions could harm another person – either mentally or physically. If you are so cross with someone, for example, that you feel your fists clenching, you need to control the desire to hit him. Or if you want to shout at someone, saying things you know will cause emotional damage, you have to exercise self-control and quash the urge to do it.
“Educate your children to self-control, to the habit of holding passion and prejudice and evil tendencies subject to an upright and reasoning will, and you have done much to abolish misery from their future and crimes from society.” Benjamin Franklin