When we talk about good relationships, we don’t always mean romantic ones. In fact, the majority of the relationships we have throughout our lives fall outside the romantic realm. Relationships with our parents, children, friends, work colleagues – these are all hugely influential in our lives, and how good, or not, they profoundly affect our emotional – and physical – well-being.
It’s a very human trait to devote an inordinate amount of time to analysing and over-thinking our relationships. We wonder why we have bad relationships, we rely too heavily on the good relationships, we worry that our relationships are one-sided…
We need to remove ourselves from this exhausting state of continual analysis. Let’s work on the most important relationship of all – the one we have with ourselves.
Good relationships with others rely on being at peace with ourselves. If we’re emotionally disconnected from what’s going on in our own minds, we cannot possibly be emotionally available for others. Let’s not be the underdog in our own lives!
It’s so important to develop a loving and accepting relationship with ourselves in order to have good relationships with others. The relationships we have with others are essentially mirrors of the way we feel about ourselves. When we identify and heal the broken parts of our own beings, we stop projecting them onto other people in our lives. Being at peace, and feeling complete in our own lives, enables up to have strong, healthy and loving relationships.
Don’t forget, though, that not all good relationships have to have significant influence and meaning in your life. Some start small and stay small. Perhaps you see the same person every day at the office coffee station, or bus stop, or taxi rank. After smiling a greeting every day for a few days, you ask if they saw the rugby game on TV last night. They did, and for the few minutes it takes to make your coffee, or for your bus to arrive, you chat about rugby. This is as far as this particular relationship will go, and that’s OK. For those few minutes, you are two people adding a little brightness to each other’s days.
Good relationships come in all shapes and sizes, and we should embrace them all.
“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”
Marcel Proust