It’s only eight little words, but it is a huge question. And one which we may never have asked ourselves before. Sometimes we make choices instinctively, almost sub-consciously, without pausing to think about why we made those choices, or how they will affect the way other people see us.
But the key issue is really not how others see or define us, but how we see and define ourselves.
Self-definition is knowing who you are and what your purpose is in life. And, as much as we like to think we make decisions logically and thoughtfully, who we are, our personalities, will always affect the choices we make and why we make them.
No one else will ever make exactly the same decision as we do for exactly the same reason. Your friend may choose the same meal as you at lunch, but she’ll have done so because she hasn’t had chicken for a while, whereas you chose it because it’s two days before pay day, you’re broke, and the chicken dish was the cheapest.
So how can you understand your personality better so that you can make better choices? Your personality defines how you respond to others and the world around you. It’s made up of your temperament (nature) and your experiences (nurture). Essentially, you have hundreds of individual character traits which, when grouped together, form your personality type.
Your personality traits combine with your values, needs, life experiences, maturity and motivations to guide your decision-making process. If you’re very focused on your appearance, your first decisions of the day will centre around what you wear. If you’re highly ambitious and career-driven, your first decision might be to check on your investments or see what the competition is up to.
It’s all about how you define yourself. Your “style” will guide you as to whether you make decisions impulsively or cautiously, spontaneously or deliberately, rationally or emotionally.
“Every man builds his world in his own image.
He has the power to choose,
but no power to escape the necessity of choice.”
Ayn Rand
Sometimes it’s hard to make the right choice, and sometimes we don’t even know how to begin to make a choice. But understanding that thinking for yourself puts you in charge of your own life is a great place to start.
“If you choose not to take charge, you will experience the consequences of that choice, and simply be blown about by life like a leaf in the wind.”
Dr Bobbie Stevens